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the 7 rules of trust

Make it Personal. (14:57 - 20:21)
_{This is where the triangle of trust comes in. To be deemed trustworthy, you must display: authenticity, empathy and logic.}
It’s in Our Nature. (20:22 - 23:30)
_{Focus on all the mundane moments of everyday trust; driving, crossing the road, getting our haircut.}
Create a clear purpose. (23:33 - 30:34)
_{To thrive, trust needs a clear, positive purpose. From this purpose, social behaviour and expectations follow.}
Want trust? Give trust. (38:23 - 40:15)
_{It might be a big risk, but it will lead to an even greater reward.}
Be civil (46:03 - 56:00)
_{Don’t attack character, always attack argument.}
The Virtue of Independence (30:35 - 38:22)
_{Unless driven by values, taking sides on an issue can erode trust rather than reinforce it.}
Be transparent (40:16 - 46:02)
_{One of the most important things you can do to build, or rebuild, trust is to admit when you’re wrong.}

does trust come easily to you? why / why not?

We'd love to hear your answer. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.

Send in your answer

In Trust We Trust

With Jimmy Wales

How do you choose who to trust? And how do you show others that you’re trustworthy?

In this Academy of Imperfection, we are joined by Jimmy Wales, co-founder of Wikipedia. No biggie (BIG biggie).

And if there’s one thing Jimmy knows, it’s how to garner and imbue the trust of millions.

You’re right in feeling like the general level of trust globally is low right now, but this episode is here to step you through Jimmy’s 7 rules which will help you build, rebuild, and solidify what is in our innate human behaviour.

Trust is important, and so is this conversation.

Watch now

Want to know what you value? Our very own psychologist, Dr Emily has created a simple guide to help you uncover your values.

And because we value you so much, we’re going to give it to you for free.*

*All you have to do is share this newsletter with just one other person.

As soon as they sign up, you’ll get the worksheet straight in your inbox.

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if you’d like to hear Hugh, Ryan and Josh discuss this reflection, tune in to the latest episode of A Little More Imperfects.

write a letter to your younger self

Dear 19 year old Dave,

I hope this finds you well.

I know that you're feeling really daunted by the learning curve of transition into adulthood, but you will find your way in the world, please don't rush.

It’s ok to fail and make mistakes, these are just lessons along the way and reflection upon these experiences will give you some great insights as to how you can position yourself in the future. Nothing in life is permanent, so whenever you're going through a rough patch, remember things will get better. Just don't get complacent in the good times.

It’s understandable that you have low self esteem and self worth, due to your Asperger's Syndrome (now just referred to as Autism) and the difficult relationship that you've had with your father, but you are worthy of receiving the same love and opportunities that any neurotypical person receives. So don't sell yourself short and accept what's available at the current point in time, as the best opportunities don't always come when you would like them to.

Whether it’s a job, a girlfriend or a mate, trust your gut and listen to your feelings. It's ok to walk away if something doesn't feel right and say "no" if you don't want to do something. Saying yes to avoid looking selfish and agreeing to things that you have a bad feeling about will lead to you giving your time and emotional capital to someone who is not worthy of it. Always ask yourself, would this person give me the benefit of the doubt if the situation was reversed? (More often than not, the answer is no).

Be patient with your father as he has been battling undiagnosed depression for many years and this has been the cause of some of the things that he has done. One day, you will be incredibly proud of the man your father grows into, as he will come to apologise for some of things that he did and share his vulnerability with you. You will also develop a much closer connection and you’ll show him compassion and pride for the way he did the best he could with what he had.

You have so much to offer this world, so remember these points:

1) It’s ok to say no if you don't want to do something, just be polite and respectful to the other person.

2) If your gut tells you to walk away, then walk away, politely saying that it’s not for you.

3) Just because you're Autistic doesn't mean that you have to accept poor treatment from people or settle for what you can get, because you feel like you will never receive better.

Yours Sincerely,

39 year old Dave