have you ever felt like a burden to those around you?

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Welcome to my imperfect email.

As always, every week, we’ll send a question that will help you reflect on your own imperfect life, inspired by this week’s episode.

It’s bonus episode time, and we’re welcoming in Hugo Toovey to talk about something that really close to our hearts ……. and bowels and testicles.

Make sure to check yourself (before you wreck yourself),

Bell

Bell Northeast

have you ever felt like a burden to those around you?

We'd love to hear your answer to this question. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.

Send in your answer

The Reality of Surviving Cancer. Twice.

With Hugo Toovey

Hugo Toovey has beaten cancer, twice. But this is far from the whole story.

In this special bonus episode, Hugo joins Hugh, Ryan and Josh to talk about health;

how to know when to go to a doctor, how to wrangle with the emotions of being cancer free, how to be vulnerable with the people who love you most.

Extraordinarily open in the hope that it will help someone else, Hugo discusses his fertility and decision to have kids, how being a parent has affected his outlook on life, and how exhausting it was acting like everything was okay.

This episode is dedicated to everyone who has been touched by cancer, and who are trying to find purpose and hope in its wake.

Watch now

For right now

“Don’t be a bloody dickhead ….. go see a doctor” (13:23 - 13:43)

^{Sound advice from Hugo’s dad. If something feels not normal (to you) for more than 2 weeks, a consultation with your GP is a great place to start.}

For this week

Check in on a carer in your life. (1:03:39 - 1:06:11)

^{Carers do SO MUCH, and often under-appreciated. Hugo talks about how his wife, and carer, Amber has been exploring seeing a psychologist to help her mental health. Checking in on a carer, or dropping over a meal, can go a long way.}

For this season of your life

It’s okay to not be the strong one. (33:19 - 34:04)

^{Hugo found himself putting on a smile to make his family and friends feel at ease, especially when he was at his most unwell. It wasn’t until he got vulnerable with those who he loved the most, revealing his fear and anxiety, that Hugo allowed people to meet him where he was at, and as a consequence, developed deeper connections.}

how can you show up for someone in a way that’s truly meaningful?

Sometimes it's about showing up for people when they don't even realise you need them to.

Recently, I lost my brother. I could not let my parents go through the painful process of all the things that need to be done after someone does, as this was their child. No parent should have to go through that. I decided to show up for them and do it all myself.

Little did I realise I needed others to show up for me during this very painful and difficult time. I like to think I'm strong, but this would test even the most emotionally strong person in the world.

One of the tasks was clearing out my brother's belongings from his apartment. It was very fresh, only a week after the death, and I only had a few days to do it. I thought I was ready to do it myself, but my friends banded around me and made me remember I am not alone in it. The way one of them sat next to me for three days to help bag all of his things, how two friends showed up early one morning to help move all heavy things, are such beautiful acts of kindness that I will forever be grateful for.

I didn't realise how much I needed them to show up for me until they did. But they did.

One of them told me that, similar to how no parent should have to go through all this for their child, no sister should have to go through this for their brother.

And maybe that's what really loving someone is all about - being their strength in times they need it the most and don't realise they do.

Jasmine