Welcome to the all new my imperfect email.
We’ve got a new name, a new look and a new episode!
The imperfects newsletter, formally know as the vulnerabilitea-mail is now my imperfect email.
As always, every week, we’ll send a question that will help you reflect on your own imperfect life, inspired by this week’s episode.
This week we’re back in the Academy of Imperfection with expert Jess Hill to talk about the trifecta; love, power and control.
This is an important one.
Bell Northeast
how do you navigate power in your relationships?
We'd love to hear your answer to this question. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.
What parts of your brain or behaviour have you judged harshly in the past? How might you view them with more compassion now?
Throughout my childhood and young adolescence, I have had a very difficult relationship with food. Being the tallest girl in all my classes, which became a defining factor of my personality despite it being the least interesting thing about myself, I felt immense shame for taking up too much space. The shame was layered with humiliation and disgust of myself, as though I was in a foreign body that was not mine. I could always be spotted in a room, a head taller than anyone else, eyes always felt, and comments always made.
I decided at a young age that if I could not minimise myself vertically, I could minimise myself horizontally. A cheap fix to minimise myself and to draw comments to my physical description that for once would not concern height.
Through years of therapy, open conversations and travel I began to rebuild my relationship with food. I began to realise how much I had lost myself, how many experiences and moments I had taken away from myself.
Travel was one of the most important pillars in my recovery. It made me realise how small I already was, a small speck on a large continent, and how good it felt when my personality was big and bold, having the confidence to do anything I wanted. Travel opened my eyes to a wide range of cuisines and delicacies that of course I had to try. I saw how food is a crucial part of connection and cultural immersion.
I am so blessed to have had many life changing conversations over a bowl of pho. To me, food has changed from being a necessity to an opportunity. An opportunity to grow and be stronger, an opportunity to catch up and share with old friends and an opportunity to experience something new.
I try to give myself the upmost compassion with food everyday. Understanding the connection and love that it stems from. How I always seem to reflect nostalgically on my first momo in Nepal or the first bite of a warm croissant with my girlfriends on a Sunday morning brunch, yet the memories of restriction are hazy and forgettable at best.
I admire the outspoken women around me every day, their ability to command a room and take up all the space possible. I now understand the importance of this quality, the critical need for women to take up as much space as possible for our voices to finally be heard.
Tashi
Thank you to Tashi for getting vulnerable and sharing their reflection with us, and with all of you!
Always vulnerable responsibly.
A ‘love’ of control
With Jess Jill
Domestic violence is an epidemic in Australia, and Jess Hill has dedicated a good chunk of time trying to understand why.
Joining us in the Academy of Imperfection, Jess explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the unrelenting system of entrapment that many women find themselves in, including a detailed look at the history of coercive control, and the term ‘perspecticide’.
Describing the importance of early intervention for young boys, and answering the question ‘Why don’t they just leave?’, Jess discusses with Josh the difference between guilt and shame, and the fundamental impact of these emotions.
This episode is compulsory listening for everyone (obviously, it’s Jess Hill talking about one of the most significant issues in our country), but especially those who, in their quietest, most vulnerable moment, recognise themselves as a perpetrator and want to take the next steps to changing the cycle of trauma.
Jess, we cannot thank you enough.
That’s right, baby. We’re going back on the road in 2025.
Hugh, Ryan and Josh are back with a brand new live show, Together Again.
Like the last show this won’t just be a live podcast recording, but a stage show extravaganza mixing vulnerability, humour and authenticity (and singing and dancing and probably a game show).
P.S. first Hobart show sold out, so we’ve added another.
P.P.S our Melbourne show is selling fast, so we’ve added another too!
Tickets are selling fast.