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Welcome to my imperfect email.

As always, every week, we’ll send a question that will help you reflect on your own imperfect life, inspired by this week’s episode.

If we were to do a ‘where are they now’ spin-off series, this would be a great pilot episode.

Jamila Rizvi joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House for some vulny inception - Jamila’s getting vulnerable about the things she wasn’t ready to get vulnerable about last time.

Always vulnerable responsibly,

Bell

Bell Northeast

what aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long?

We'd love to hear your answer to this question. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.

Send in your answer

Awoken by a Broken Brain

With Jamila Rizvi

Jamila Rizvi has not been the perfect sick person.

When Jamila was last in our studio, she was deep in the grief stage.

Jamila’s life had been irrevocably changed by the imposition of a brain tumour, and the myriad of health complications due to surgery.

To put it simply, Jamila didn’t know who Jamila was anymore, and that terrified her.

This week, in the Vulnerabilitea House, Jamila answers the questions “what aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long?”

The drip-fed loss of cognitive functions and a new hormone condition which made her constantly starving, Jamila felt like her body and mind were no longer her own. Speaking to Hugh, Josh, and Ryan really honestly, Jamila opens up about her eating disorder during this time; how it impacted her sense of self, her relationships, and ability to connect.

Watch now

For right now

List what is still good about you. (55:42:56:09)

^{After loss of cognitive function in her brain (which she saw as her “most valuable” asset, Jamila had to relearn what she still had to offer the world.}

For this week

Show up for your friends. (56:09-57:00)

^{On the night of her diagnosis, Jamila’s friend showed up at her door with a strange assortment of good, but most importantly, her support, love and wisdom.}

For this season of your life

Find the good stuff. (52:14-53:06)

^{It doesn’t mean that you have to like what happened to you, but there’s power in reframing your story. For Jamila, she knows she is better equipped to support her nephew with hearing loss, she’s more compassionate, and is grateful that her ticking time bomb of a brain tumour gave her 21 years illness free.}

Want to know what you value? Our very own psychologist, Dr Emily has created a simple guide to help you uncover your values.

And because we value you so much, we’re going to give it to you for free.*

*All you have to do is share this newsletter with just one other person.

As soon as they sign up, you’ll get the worksheet straight in your inbox.

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what has been the scariest moment in your life?

I can think of a few scary moments in my life.

I grew up on a farm in southwest Victoria and was 8 when the Ash Wednesday bushfires ravaged our area. Our school bus was stopped by more than one fire on the way home that day.

Pre-mobile phones, there was no way to get a message to the mums (it was mostly mums that day) to explain what was happening. When we eventually got home, Mum left the car out and each of the 4 kids (aged 2-8), were allowed one bag with a change of clothes, toiletries, and something special to us. I remember Mum arguing with my 7-year-old sister, who came out with multiple bags of things she couldn’t possibly live without. The sky was a dark orange entity, it was horrible.

Though packed and ready to go, we didn’t actually leave. I think Mum was waiting to hear from Dad or someone else in the CFA about if, when and where we should go. We didn’t see Dad until what felt like the middle of the night. In his orange CFA gear, his face and jumpsuit smeared with soot, he wore an expression I’d never seen before. It was distant, intense, and shocked. When I think of it now, seeing his face then, that was the scariest moment of my life.

Dad was our rock, he was calm, loving, and unflappable. Our mum on the other hand, was a mentally unstable alcoholic. We could only cope with Mum because Dad was always there stabilising us all. But in that moment, watching them speak an impenetrable grownup language, Dad was mentally somewhere else; somewhere terrifying and he was about to go back there.

He barely registered my big-eyed presence, before he was back out in the howling orange night, to keep fighting fires. Later we found out that the 18-year-old son of a fellow CFA volunteer, had been hit by a fireball and killed right in front of my dad and the boy’s own father. I think that’s what Dad had been telling Mum.

It feels almost shameful to be so traumatised by that day, when we didn’t lose our home or any loved ones. But it was so destabilising to me, that it left a permanent mark. I dread hot, windy days and am slightly on edge every summer, until the rains of autumn put the fire season to bed for another year.

Sophie

Thank you so much to Sophie for sharing their reflection with us, and with all of you! Always vulnerable responsibly.

That’s right, baby. We are CURRENTLY on tour, with a brand new live show Together Again.

Like the last show, this isn’t a live podcast recording, but a stage show extravaganza mixing vulnerability, humour and authenticity (and signing and dancing and a game show).

Tickets are still available for Perth, Gold Coast, Brisbane and Newcastle.

Tickets here!