Were you forwarded this email? Sign up here to get the next edition!
Welcome to my imperfect email.
As always, every week, we’ll send a question that will help you reflect on your own imperfect life, inspired by this week’s episode.
They say good things come in threes, and boy, are you in for a treat this week.
Matt Okine, Triple J presenter, triple jump extraordinaire and triple best-friend of Hugh, Ryan and Josh, joins us in the studio this week, and well, you could call it a legendary moment.
Oh what a feelin’,
Bell
Bell Northeast
what has the fear of failure held you back from trying?
We'd love to hear your answer to this question. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.
Comedy & Tragedy
With Matt Okine
Matt Okine has been privy to a few life changing events.
Hailing from Triple J infamy (the radio station ……. not the athletic event), Matt has seen success across television screens, the comedy scene and music stage.
A triple threat, you might say.
Joining us in the studio, Matt is incredibly vulnerable in sharing with Hugh, Ryan, and Josh, the pain and confusion of losing his mum at just 12 years old, and how becoming a parent himself has filled him with an irrational, but at times crippling, fear of death.
Matt and Ryan bond over the cathartic and confronting process of writing about yourself as a character, who doesn’t always get it right, and Matt talks to Josh about jealousy and how he learned to trust again after being cheated on.
For right now
Tell your mum (or a mum-figure) you love them. (25:17-26:21)
Matt lost his mum at 12 years old and talks vulnerably about his continuing grief, and recognition of how things can change in the blink of an eye.
For this week
Write about something that happened to you as if you are a character in a tv show. (1:11:36-1:13:22)
Both Matt and Ryan have written scripts where they are the main character. With three sides to every story, writing in this way can prompt empathy, compassion and a deeper understanding of the situation.
For this season of your life
Outside of a romantic relationship, think about who in your life you could connect with on a deeper level (1:27:21-1:30:02)
In the midst of the post-breakup blues, Hugh discusses how, when he was really honest with himself, it wasn’t the connection of the specific person he missed, but connection in general.
do you feel pressure to conform to expectations that don’t align with who you truly are? how do you handle it?
All my life, I’ve felt the pressure to conform to expectations that never truly fit me.
As a kid, I was told what to wear (girly, frilly dresses), what to eat (slimy stews), how to sit (always upright), even how to laugh (never too loud). I was warned not to spend too much time in the sun so I wouldn’t get “too dark,” and, most confusing of all, not to be “too sexual,” but to still somehow be “sexually appealing.”
So much of what I was told to be was never who I actually was. As a teenager, that disconnect turned into a deep struggle with self-worth and belonging. And then came the final straw: realising I was attracted to women.
When you grow up Arab in a culture where gender and sexuality are rigid constructs, being gay isn’t just inconvenient; it can be dangerous. I could try to hide my laugh, close my legs, sit upright, eat what they wanted me to eat, but I couldn’t control who I loved.
Some people in my position choose to stay and live with that pressure. I couldn’t. I left. I ran to a place so far away that coming back home could take years, a place full of venomous snakes and spiders, but also a place where no one could tell me who to be.
At first, I thought I was running away. But I learned something important: what I’d really been running from all along was myself.
And the freedom to finally stop running, to just exist as I am, turned out to be the most valuable thing I could ever find.
This weeks reflection is brought to you by Lem Zakharia.
Lem is the founder of bedou talent management, and former producer of Abbie Chatfield’s It’s A Lot podcast, where she also joined as a guest to share her experience growing up as a queer woman in Jordan.
Lem has published a 4-part collective memoir podcast Twice Displaced, which explores getting caught by police in Jordan, Arabs Got Talent, and her arrival in Sydney for a heartbroken Christmas visit, which turned into an asylum journey.
Lem thank you so much for getting vulnerable with us. It is an absolute privilege to have your reflection in our newsletter.
Always vulnerable responsibly.
You’re currently reading my imperfect email, but have you heard of my imperfect life?
From The Imperfects universe comes a new type of journal …….. or is it a novel …… written by you?
Either way, it’s the only novel journal that’ll help celebrate your imperfections, and you in touch with your vulny side.
With 100 questions inspired by episodes from the show, this novel journal will encourage you to reflect on and unpack your own imperfect life.
And, if you feel up for it, share your answer to any of the questions with us here. Who knows, it might just be your best work yet.
Did this newsletter make you think of someone in particular?