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Welcome to my imperfect email.

As always, every week, we’ll send a question that will help you reflect on your own imperfect life, inspired by this week’s episode.

This week, Hugh, Ryan and Josh sat down to have some (vulnerabili)tea with Bri Lee, and talk about climate anxiety.

In my head, that sentence sounded less doom and gloom because it rhymed.

But I digress! As doomy and gloomy as it sounds, this episode is full of laughter, hope and lots and lots of LOVE.

Optimistically yours,

Bell

We'd love to hear your answer to this question. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.

Bri asks the question to Hugh, Josh and Ryan, “what does it mean to live a good life, and what do we owe each other?”

This chat explores the philosophies of anti and pronatalism, whilst being grounded in examples from the guys’ and Bri’s life. An intentional and judgement free zone, this conversation delves into the morality of should’s and shouldn’ts, and what it means to do the right thing.

As Bri says, hope is something that you earn through action, and we are all feeling a bit more hopeful after this episode. 

Prioritise love. (26:21 - 26:40)

_{Bri reflects on her trip to Antarctica and how making friends with older generations illuminated the need to prioritise love (romantic, friendship, familial) throughout our lives.}

Turn hopelessness into hope through action. (1:08:50 - 1:09:50)

_{As Bri says, as unfortunate as it is for those of us who love a sleep in, hope is earned. For Bri, this looks like actions such as joining a community group to volunteer, or even just to connect with like-minded people.}

Create space to have difficult conversations without fear or judgement. (13:30 - 13:55)

_{Staying curious in challenging conversations can crack your mind open with ideas and help you see the world from a different perspectives. Enabling us to become more empathetic and reflective people.}

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As I enter the last month of my four-year undergrad, I’ve only just begun to recognise the grief that has been setting in.

There are lots of things that I’m excited to see the end of, like classes, constant looming deadlines, and group project meetings scheduled into the wee hours of the night. But at the same time, graduation marks the end of a lot of good that’s come into my life during my time here, and I’m struggling to accept that things might never be the same again.

In high school, I was one of the COVID years, and it hit me pretty hard. I struggled to connect, and it was the first time I’d experienced poor mental health. When I got to university, I was determined to start fresh, step outside of my comfort zone, yadda, yadda, yadda. So, I said yes to all the university things, met all the lovely people I now call my friends, and honestly didn’t look back. I really felt as though I’d “fixed” the feelings of anxiety, low self-esteem, and loneliness that I used to have.

Fast forward to now; April will mark the end of three years living with my closest friends (who I now call family), in the house that we now call home. It will mark the end of “forced socialization” through classes, clubs, walking around campus and going to the gym during the weeks I get overwhelmed and neglect to make actual plans. I think that realistically, it may mark the end of some friendships as people move farther away or get consumed by adult life. It will also mark the end of a predictable routine and an institution telling me what to do, which, as someone with ADHD, has been my lifeline.

Recently, that crushing feeling of anxiety came back, and the moment I felt it, I pushed it down. The next day, it came back just a little stronger, and the next day, even stronger.

I attributed it to a plethora of external causes – medication dose, PMS, caffeine, lack of sunlight, vitamin deficiency, inactivity. I spent so much time trying to think myself out of feeling, but I kind of feel like my anxiety is like a superbug - always finding ways to one-up me. I did everything I could to distract myself and ignore it, but those feelings would show up again as soon as I stopped moving. What if I’m stuck feeling this way forever? What if it takes over my life? What if it undoes all the things I’ve worked so hard for? What if this starts to define me?

It’s difficult to explain to someone else the feeling of being afraid of your own thoughts. Oftentimes, I’m not even clearly aware of what I’m anxious about, but the feeling sits there like a phone ringing off the wall interspersed with urgent voicemails.

But slowly, slowly, I’ve started trying to sit with that feeling. Just in little bits, when it feels safe, like when I’m hanging out with friends, or walking to class. I’ve started naming the feeling aloud when it comes up, which has actually sparked some really rich conversations with friends that I otherwise wouldn’t have known were struggling too.

At first, it was scary to realize, but eventually it became comforting to accept that I’ve always been somewhat anxious — I’ve just been very good at keeping myself busy. It’s kind of like evidence that I will be okay if I just let the feeling be. That things can change for better or for worse, and I can be anxious, and that doesn't have to mean catastrophe.

I can’t go as far as to say that I’ve reached “radical acceptance” yet, but I’m working towards it, and every day I feel I have a little more courage to let myself experience the full range of grief, joy, fear, and love that is here for me right now. 

Jayneigh

Thank you so much for sharing your reflection with us, and with all of you! Always vulnerable responsibly.

In our episode with Matt Preston, Hugh was very excited to talk to Matt about his Neighbours and Home & Away expertise, but unfortunately, we ran out time.

LUCKILY, we had time for this exclusive outtake.

Sign up to our patreon to watch this clip.

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