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Welcome to my imperfect email.

With a name catchier than your favourite song, journalist Jan Fran joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to disclose the secrets of the universe: what Josh is like as a housemate.

In all seriousness, go gently, this conversation with Jan is raw, real, and very vulnerable.

From one empath to another,

Bell

We'd love to hear your answer to this question. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.

Talking through her unravelling relationship with social media and the utter helplessness she feels watching atrocities cut into 30 second clips, Jan explores how becoming a mother cracked her open in ways she didn’t know possible.

Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer every question in the deck (kidding), Jan and Josh discuss the guilt of turning away, and the consequences of leaning in.

And finally, Jan explores with the Hugh, Ryan and Josh, the fundamental importance of deliberately creating community.

Jan, you are remarkable.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom”

- Victor Frankl (24:21 - 26:04)

Action is the antidote to despair. (46: 54)

_{Educate, volunteer, donate, plant, there are endless opportunities to contribute a small amount of action (and get you out of doom scrolling, well, doom).}

Deliberately build community. (42:05 - 26:09)

Or send them your unique signup link: {{rp_refer_url}}

Matrescence didn’t begin the day Frankie was placed onto my chest. It started years before that, using the ‘turkey bastor’ method at home to try and conceive. Then in fertility clinic waiting rooms, in surgery recovery, in the trenches of severe illness that kept me from working, from functioning, from being anything other than a body doing its absolute best to fight for my dream.

The selflessness, the sacrifice, the reshaping of who I was, it began long before I had a baby to show for it. I lost pregnancies. I lost versions of myself. And somewhere in all of that loss, matrescence was quietly already underway. I know this now, after listening to the episode with Dr Edna Lekgabe.

What surprised me most is that I didn’t lose my identity becoming a mother, I grew into it. A decade of toxic relationships with food and my body, of insecurity and self criticism, and now I have the most powerful reason to do things differently. Frankie will not inherit those behaviours from me. That mission has given me a clarity I never had before. And alongside it came something I didn’t expect… a deep, bone level appreciation for this body that was cut open, pumped full of hormones, riddled with illness for nine months…and still brought her here. This perfect little girl. She is my dream. Mum is my dream. I am living it.

After listening to Dr Edna, I realised that matrescence doesn’t just hand you the beautiful parts and leave. It also handed me irritability I didn’t ask for, and a resentment I’m still learning to sit with. The spontaneity I used to have… throwing on shoes and going for a run, doing anything at the drop of a hat…that is gone. Everything requires planning now. Everything requires energy. And that energy has one non negotiable destination. Frankie. So when it gets pulled elsewhere, when I have to repeat myself, when I have to guide the same routine for the 100th time, when my wife gets to drive home in silence while I’m dislocating my shoulder reaching for a dummy that was yeeted across the back seat, I feel it. I’m jealous of things that have nothing to do with love and everything to do with freedom I no longer have. And I’ve had to learn that intention doesn’t negate impact. But I’ve also had to learn that this … all of it, the good and the bad and the beautifully ugly, is exactly what matrescence is. And I’m facing it head on.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Bryani

Thank you so much for sharing your reflection with us, and with all of you! Always vulnerable responsibly.

Introducing A Little More Questions!

Producer Bridge has lottttts of questions. And after every episode we record,  there is so much more she'd love to ask the guest, that we simply don’t have time for.

And we’ve noticed many of you relish the opportunity to ask our guests questions too!

So, from time to time, Producer Bridge and Josh will be getting past guests back on the show, to ask them a burning question.

First up is psychologist and friend of the show Maria Ruberto, and Bridge wants to know: How do you know if you're stuck in a thinking trap? And what can we do about it?

Episode out very soon …. sign up to A Little More Imperfects on patreon or Apple Podcasts to listen.

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