who do you go to for advice? why?

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Welcome to my imperfect email.

As always, every week, we’ll send a question that will help you reflect on your own imperfect life, inspired by this week’s episode.

~~Jacinda Ardern~~ Melanie Bracewell is in the Vulnerabilitea House this week and we are verrryyyy excited to chat to her about who she gets advice from, why people from New Zealand are the best, and how Josh can get tickets to Cheap Seats (after four years of trying).

Brace yourself,

Bell

Bell Northeast

who do you go to for advice? why?

We'd love to hear your answer to this question. If you're in the mood to get vulnerable and share your writing, send it through.

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Untangling a Toxic Relationship

With Melanie Bracewell

Have you ever dated someone you knew, logically, was a bad idea? A puppeteer twenty years your senior, perhaps?

Melanie Bracewell has, and she joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to answer the question, ‘who do you go to advice for? Why?’ (spoiler: it’s not her puppeteer ex-boyfriend).

Unpacking the disarming realisation that all of our parents were once our age, Mel talks to the guys about making useful mistakes in your twenties, finding a litmus for what loves looks and feels like, and how to make friends with people as an adult (who aren’t already on your netball team).

Mel bonds with Hugh about the realities of an ADHD brain and the fallacy of thinking you are super organised for something, and most importantly, the burst of self-compassion that can come from a diagnosis.

Mel, we’ll be your side-by-side friend.

Watch now

For right now

Think about what your parents (and/or guardians) lives were like when they were your age? (25:25-26:26)

^{Mel says she found more empathy for her mum after thinking about her mum’s life, at her age.}

For this week

Can you admit you were wrong? And do you find it difficult to apologise?

(23:00-25:09 + 1:01:21-1:02:40)

^{After an incident in her early 20’s, Mel felt betrayed by her mum. They argued about it and eventually Mel moved out of home. Weeks later, Mel’s mum sent an email, apologising. Mel credits this apology with not only mending their relationship but building trust, and ultimately making her mum someone she now turns to for advice.}

For this season of your life

Make adult friendships. (39:37 - 41:16)

^{Mel shares how difficult she’s found making friends since moving to Melbourne, and how the discomfort of reaching out to someone is hard, but ultimately worth the connection.}

when did someone truly make you feel like you belong?

When I changed workplaces, I was going through one of the most challenging times in both my professional and personal life.

I was trialling ADHD medication and coming to terms with a comorbid diagnosis that wasn’t a shock, but still left me grieving the life I thought I should have had. At the same time, I was managing health issues and struggling to feel like my best self.

Despite being passionate about teaching and committed to my students, I felt like I was falling short. My main leader at the time was critical of these struggles, and it broke my confidence so deeply. For the first time, I truly doubted whether I was fit to remain in the profession I had believed was my calling.

Then another leader stepped in and completely transformed my experience. She shared her own lived experience and diagnosis with me, which immediately helped me feel less alone. She listened without judgment, checked in on me when I was quiet, and reminded me of my strengths even when I couldn’t see them myself.

She would bring or suggest books or readings she thought I’d enjoy which showed she really understood me and valued my interests. She celebrated my small wins, encouraged me when I doubted myself, and offered both teaching and listening with patience and genuine care.

Most importantly, she created a space where I felt safe to be myself. I didn’t have to change or mask who I was to belong. She accepted me exactly as I was, and helped me see that my differences could also be my strengths.

That was when I truly felt I belonged. Because of her, my self-esteem grew, my practice improved, and I began to believe in myself again. Moving forward, her guidance and encouragement have shaped me for the better, helping me embrace my authentic self and reflect that authenticity in my teaching.

While there were voices that once made me feel like I didn’t belong, they no longer hold weight, and over time we were able to work through those challenges to find understanding.

Now, I no longer think about leaving. I know I belong in education, I know I can make a difference, and I know I can be that person for someone else too. Her example has shown me how powerful it is when someone chooses to believe in you, and because of her, I am committed to making sure others (especially my students ) feel accepted, valued, and that they truly belong.